Subject: Relationships (Page 5)

[Kerry is trying to figure out how to break up with Kyle] Bridget: Just use the line I use when I break up with a guy.

Kerry: “I’m only seventeen, you’ll go to jail”?

(1979 – ) American actress
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
People Relationships Women

There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions Family Relationships

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dating Hair

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball People Relationships Sports Women

She was another of his near Mrs.

Communication Language Marriage Relationships Wordplay

Nobody in their right mind would call me a nymphomaniac; I only sleep with good-looking men.

(1954 – ) British poet, novelist, travel writer & journalist
People Relationships Sex

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years; it lasted forty-three years.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Conflict Parents Relationships Time

Ladies, if you’re at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the mall with you… he… loves you.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Men People Relationships

You might be a redneck if… you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Marriage People Rednecks Relationships

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Intelligence Relationships Stupidity

When I die, I want it to be on my 100the birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.

(1961 – ) American actress
Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Incest: in many parts of the Bible Belt, the most popular form of dating.

American author
Dating Relationships Sex

Only thing that’s worse than walking in on your parents making love is walking in on your grandparents making love.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Age Family Relationships Sex

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Family Relationships Sex

Marry your son when you will, but your daughter when you can.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Family Marriage Relationships

Many a necklace becomes a noose.

(1888 – 1982) American writer
Dating Marriage Men People Relationships Women

As my mother used to say, ‘You’ll get unconditional love from me when you’ve earned it.

(1954 – ) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Family Mothers Relationships

Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband… if she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Girlfriends Relationships

Adam was the luckiest man: he had no mother-in-law.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Relationships

Dating: An elaborate prelude to mating that fulfills much the same function as the sniffing ritual in dogs, but without its forthright honesty.

Dating Definitions Relationships