Subject: Science/Weather (Page 11)

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Science/Weather

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English? It means 'liar.'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Occupations Science/Weather Work

Genetic Engineering: Tampering with chromosomes so that science might develop a new miracle cure or a rabbit that plays the banjo. –

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Facts Language Science/Weather

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’, but ‘That’s funny…’

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Communication Science/Weather Speech

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Science/Weather Situations

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Appearance Body Insults Science/Weather

What goes up must come down… but don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Science/Weather

Normally you have news, weather and travel, but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel.

(1976 – ) English comedian & actor
Science/Weather

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways; but he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Science/Weather

In creating the human brain, evolution has wildly overshot the mark.

(1905 – 1983) Hungarian-British author & journalist
People Science/Weather

Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Health Old Science/Weather

I've been noticing gravity since I was very young.

(1972 – ) American actress & former model
Intelligence Science/Weather

Plenty of people believe in energy conservation – mainly their own.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Science/Weather

No experiment is reproducible.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

The word 'spermicide' sounds like something sperms would do as a last resort; 'I'm not going out there anymore. I can't take it.'

stand-up comedian & actor
Language Science/Weather

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

(1934 – 1996) American astronomer, astrophysicist & author
Cooking Food/Drink Science/Weather

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Science/Weather