Subject: Science/Weather (Page 15)

Brace Yourselves for a Good 12 inches!

Headlines Science/Weather

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Places Science/Weather

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

The trouble isn’t that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn’t distributed right.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Fools Intelligence Science/Weather

Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Facts Science/Weather

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Religion Science/Weather

I shop at a computer store called 'Your Crap's Already Obsolete.'

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer
Science/Weather

I lived in a house that ran on static electricity… if you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head; if you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.

(1912 – 1977) German-born rocket engineer
Science/Weather

Every scientific truth goes through three states: first, people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered before; lastly, they say they always believed it.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Beliefs Facts Science/Weather

I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? “OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.

Life Science/Weather

It was a dry rain.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Science/Weather Yogi-isms

Space isn’t remote at all; it’s only an hours drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Science/Weather

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Cold Science/Weather

Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started down the road of professional basketball before an ankle injury diverted him to science.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
People Science/Weather

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Entertainment Music Science/Weather

It ain’t the heat; it’s the humility.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Heat Malaprops Science/Weather Yogi-isms

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice… but, in practice, there is.

(1953 – 1994) Dutch computer scientist & educator
Science/Weather

The direction of take-off will be opposite that of the final destination.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Science/Weather

According to modern astronomers, space is finite; this is a very comforting thought – particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Places Science/Weather