Subject: Science/Weather (Page 15)

USA Today has come out with a new survey; apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Facts People Science/Weather

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Facts Science/Weather

A circle is a line of no depth running round a point forever.

Science/Weather

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Science/Weather Situations

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Cold Science/Weather

It is so hot… I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

Science/Weather Wordplay

Not all chemicals are bad; without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Science/Weather

It was a dry rain.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Science/Weather Yogi-isms

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Science/Weather

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

Food/Drink Proverbs Science/Weather Time

Without geography you're nowhere.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Places Science/Weather

Everything else causes cancer in rats.

Animals Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

Playing in this nice weather really makes me remember all the times I got stung by a bee.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Misspokements Science/Weather

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Science/Weather Situations

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

Language Science/Weather

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Science/Weather

The effort of catching a falling object will cause more destruction than if the object had been allowed to fall in the first place.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Science/Weather Things

It is so hot… Dick Cheney waterboarded himself.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Heat Science/Weather