Subject: Science/Weather (Page 16)

In New England there are three times of year… either winter has just been, or winter is coming, or it’s winter.

American author
Places Science/Weather

You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.


Science/Weather

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Animals Science/Weather

Chance of Rain Today Depends On Where You LIve

Headlines Science/Weather

The word 'spermicide' sounds like something sperms would do as a last resort; 'I'm not going out there anymore. I can't take it.'

stand-up comedian & actor
Language Science/Weather

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Places Science/Weather

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

Genetic Engineering: Tampering with chromosomes so that science might develop a new miracle cure or a rabbit that plays the banjo. –

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Work

It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

It is so hot… Dick Cheney waterboarded himself.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Heat Science/Weather

It was so cold… the kids at school were using flannel notebooks.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

Science/Weather

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it rains.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Money Science/Weather

I have the oldest typewriter in the world; it types in pencil.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Science/Weather Things

The National Academy of Sciences would be unable to give a unanimous decision if asked whether the sun would rise tomorrow.

(1932 – ) American biologist & educator
Science/Weather

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports

Who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.

(1859 – 1927) English writer
Science/Weather

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Science/Weather Situations

I can levitate birds… no one cares.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Science/Weather