Subject: Sports (Page 123)

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

Singles hitters drive Fords, home run hitters drive Cadillacs.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Sports

You've got to come in with more than a left hook and a bad haircut to beat Lennox Lewis.

British and Canadian boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Dave Wottle has completely misjudged this race… and here comes Wottle!

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

If he'd just tip he cap once, he could be elected mayor of Boston in five minutes.

baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

There have been more cheap shots in this game than a Mexican cantina during happy hour.

Canadian hockey announcer
Hockey Sports

They're why the Hubble telescope is pointed away from the earth.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I enjoy hitting a batsman more than getting him out. It doesn't worry me in the least to see a batsman hurt, rolling around screaming and blood on the pitch.

Australian crickete
Sports

He has the touch of a gay hairdresser.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Once bitten, it is akin to having your neck punctured in Transylvania… there is no known antidote.

golf course architect
Golf Sports

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Fat Hockey

We didn't lose many games, and we never lost a party.

American football player
Football Sports

Nothing is so bad it can’t be made worse by firing the coach.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Situations Sports

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Activities Golf Sports

Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and the other foot in a bucket of ice; according to the percentage people, you should be about perfectly comfortable.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

This boxer is doing what's expected of him, bleeding from the nose.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

We may have broken rules … but we did not cheat.

Connecticut basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Football doesn’t build character; it eliminates the weak ones.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Characteristics Football Sports

We're shooting 100 percent – 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

The Mets achieved total incompetence in a single year, while the Browns worked industriously for almost a decade to gain equal proficiency.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Characteristics Sports

Hey, Lou, it took you 15 years to get out of the game. Sometimes I’m out in 15 minutes.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports