Subject: Time (Page 25)

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

(1952 – ) comedian
History Men People Time

I haven’t slept for ten days… because that would be too long.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Sleep Time

The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.

Government Murphy’s Laws Time

Up at the crank of dawn.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Time

A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never sure.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Future Time

I recommend you to take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Life Time

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years; it lasted forty-three years.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Conflict Parents Relationships Time

I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.

cartoon character, Peanuts (Charles Schulz, 1922 – 2000) creator & cartoonist
Life Time

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Time

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

(1868 – 1938) English humorist, editor, publisher & writer
People Time

Dick Clark went to a psychic; she told him, in a previous life, he was Dick Clark.

comedian
Life Past Situations Time

This evening is a very different evening from the morning we had this morning.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Time

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator…. he didn’t get his birthmark until he was eight years old.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics People Time

I’ve developed a new philosophy… I’m only going to dread one day at a time.

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Intelligence Life Time

I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking; but I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they are still going.

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Communication Speech Time

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics Time

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Age Men Time Women

There are only two types of computers in the world: those that waste your precious time and those that waste your precious time faster.

Things Time

Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Life Time

A loafer always has the correct time.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Time