Subject: Time (Page 25)

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.

(1930 – 1978) American comedian
Eating Food/Drink Time

Worrying about the future is a thing of the past.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Emotions Future History Time

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body – the wishbone.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Life Time

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Government President Time

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Books Communication History Reading/Writing

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Things Time

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding.

Marriage Money Murphy’s Laws Time

Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Health Time

Spend sufficient time in confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Murphy’s Laws Time

I took a course in speed waiting… now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.


Learning Time

Whatever happened to the good old days when kids was scared to death of their parents?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Children Family Fear Parents Past

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Speech Time

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Time

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse – as a man shoots himself.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Time

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Age Children Family Past Young

Someone once told me that every minute a murder occurs, so I don’t want to waste your time, I know you want to go back to work.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Conflict Entertainment Film Time

Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying about the house.

Definitions Time Work

You always think another time would have been ideal for you; the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
History Past Time

The larger the project or job, the less time there is to do it.

Murphy’s Laws Time

A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

Things Time

It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Sex Time