Subject: Work (Page 6)

When I told my mom I wanted to grow up and be a comedian, she said you can’t do both.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Entertainment Occupations Work

You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Housework Things Time Work

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handy man with a sense of humus.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Work

When I was a kid I used to play doctor with this little girl in my neighborhood and one time we got caught… luckily, it was a Wednesday and we were just playing golf.

comedian
Doctors Occupations Work

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday… how you doing… no worries next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian
Occupations Places Work

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist Cathy
Emotions Food/Drink Love Mothers Work

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Occupations People Self Work

Taxidermist: A man who mounts animals.

Animals Definitions Occupations

Boss: A person who comes early to see who comes late.

Definitions Work

There's no real need to do housework – after four years it doesn't get any worse.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Housework Situations Work

Banker: A pawn broker with a manicure.

Definitions Occupations Work

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Situations Work

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Time Work

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
People Work

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Definitions People Work

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Work

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Definitions Occupations

Without drugs, I would have never got my job… selling drugs.


Activities Drugs Occupations Work

Easiest job in the world of course: Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing… no worries… next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian
Occupations Work

… there are three sexes – men, women, and clergymen.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Occupations People