Subject: Work (Page 9)

The longer the title, the less important the job.

(1922 – 2012) American historian, author, U.S. Representative & Senator (South Dakota)
Occupations Work

When a letter simply addressed to "Duffy the Dope" was delivered to me, I knew it was time to retire.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Communication People Self Work

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

The Pope has come out and said that only 2 per cent of Catholic priests are paedophiles; unfortunately, that  2 per cent is their penis.

Canadian comedian
Occupations Work

Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.

American computer programmer
Computers Occupations Things Work

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you’re away and get nothing done, there’s another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

(1869 – 1946) American bridge builder & engineer
Activities Work

Accountant: One who uses your books to figure his profit.

Definitions Occupations

Actuary: Someone who cannot stand the excitement of chartered accountancy.

Occupations Work

It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.

Murphy’s Laws Work

It was a tough gig; they had to wake me up to fire me.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Situations Work

People were laughing at me anyway, so I thought “F**k it, I might as well start charging them.”

(1975 – ) English comedian
Occupations Work

Do they give pilots crash courses in flight school?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Occupations Wordplay Work

Growing up, all I wanted was a racecar bed, but by parents refused to get me one.. but now that I’m doing comedy, I get to sleep in a real car.

American comedian
Occupations Work

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Sleep Work

Don't pay any attention to the critics; don't even ignore them.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements Occupations Opinion

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

I was a trampoline salesman… off and on.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Work

When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results.

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Misspokements Work

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Work

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations