Subject: Work (Page 9)

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants.

(1943 – ) American attorney, journalist, writer, reporter & television host

I manufactured clown shoes… which was no small feat.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

‘Employee of the month’ is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

(1973 – ) American comedian

I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football. And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

To estimate the time it takes to do a task, estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by two, and change the unit of measure to the next highest unit. (Example: allocate two days for a one-hour task)

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

I want everyone to tell me the truth, even if it costs him his job.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded.

(1946 – ) American stage & screen actress

Dentist: man who lives from hand to mouth.

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.

(1892 – 1984) American publisher

I don’t want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I yield to no one in my admiration for the office as a social center, but it’s no place actually to get any work done.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter