Author: Anonymous Page 10

Ken already has a good repertoire with the waitress.

Malaprops

I think the big guns will come to the boil.

Mixed metaphors

Average Man: A person who doesn’t want much, and usually gets a little less than that.

Definitions People

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Things

I was beaming at the seams!

Malaprops

Cemetery: An isolated spot, usually in a suburb, where mourners swap lies.

Definitions

If you teach a snake to fish, you can lead it to water but it won't drink..

Mixed metaphors

Wife Swapping: Sexual fourplay.

Definitions Marriage Sex Wordplay

Charm: That indefinable something possessed by girls with stunning figures.

Appearance Definitions

“My giant sea creature died,” Tom wailed blubberingly.

Tom Swifties

Tears: A good-bye product.

Definitions

When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Characteristics Intelligence

Executive: An under-worked, over-paid person who is in over their head.

Definitions Occupations

After-Dinner Speaker: A person who only has a few words to say, but seldom stops when he has said them.

Definitions

Zebra: A horse behind bars.

Animals Definitions

Stuff tends to break when it is loaned or borrowed.

Accidents Problems Things

She was drop down gorgeous.

Mixed metaphors

Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Beliefs

Gardener: Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up.

Definitions

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage

“Who left the toilet seat down?” Tom asked peevishly.

Tom Swifties