Author: Anonymous Page 106

Fiddling with his guitar

Mixed metaphors

Mason-Dixon Line: A geographical division between “you all” and “youse guys.”

Definitions Places

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Government Politics

Motherhood: If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

Definitions

Coaching: Eliminating mistakes before you get fired.

Definitions

Budget: An orderly system of living beyond your means.

Definitions

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.

Activities Honesty Lies

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Husbands Marriage Wives

“I caught two hares”, said Tom abrasively.

Tom Swifties

I.O.U.: A type of paper wait.

Definitions

“I don’t like this Chardonnay,” Tom whined.

Tom Swifties

“Fish seem to like me,” Tom said with baited breath.

Tom Swifties

There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

Beliefs Proverbs

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Definitions Marriage

Businessman: One who talks golf all morning at the office, and business all afternoon on the links.

Definitions Golf Occupations

Vacation: A change of routine that makes you feel good enough to go back to work and poor enough to have to.

Definitions

A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

Family Money Relationships

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Characteristics

Toastmaster: A gentleman who introduces a gentleman who needs no introduction.

Definitions