Author: Anonymous Page 114

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Autos Science/Weather Situations Things

Now you have hit it on the head with the nail.

Mixed metaphors

Pun: A short quip followed by a long groan.

Definitions

Crazier than a dog in a hubcap factory

Expressions

“I got this ballpoint pen from a Yugoslav friend”, said Tom acerbically.

Tom Swifties

“I love hot dogs,” said Tom with relish.

Tom Swifties

“I want a motorized bicycle,” Tom moped.

Tom Swifties

Birthdays are nice to have, but too many of them will kill a person.

Age

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he’s talking about.

Intelligence

Isn't that an expensive pendulum round that woman's neck?

Malaprops

As much fun as shooting monkeys in a barrel.

Mixed metaphors

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Beliefs Communication

“I still haven’t struck oil,” said Tom boringly.

Tom Swifties

Castration: A eunuch experience.

Definitions Wordplay

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.

Misspokements

This is really a jack of all trades and master of non.

Misspokements

Impossible Lie: In golf, a ball that is in a position that is both completely obstructed by an immovable object and continuously observed by an incorruptible player.

Definitions Golf Sports

Impotence: Emission impossible.

Definitions Sex

He is so fat… he has group insurance.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat