Author: Anonymous Page 117

Long road to hoe.

Mixed metaphors

That tickled my fancy bone.

Mixed metaphors

John Hurt looks like Joan of Arc, after she's burnt at stake.

Appearance Insults

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Definitions Marriage

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Situations

He’d fight an anvil.

Characteristics Expressions

I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.

Children Family

“I used to command a battalion of German ants,” said Tom exuberantly.

Tom Swifties

Middle Age: That period when a man begins to shed his hair, his teeth, and his illusions.

Age Definitions

Doctor: A guy who tells you if you don’t cut out something he’ll cut something out of you.

Definitions Doctors Health

“Eating garbage is a form of recycling, but I can’t eat any more,” said Tom wastefully.

Tom Swifties

Bay: A body of water surrounded by restaurants.

Definitions Places

Expert: A man who is seldom in doubt, but often in error.

Definitions

It will have a special time on our plate.

Misspokements

Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

Crime Death Definitions Killing

He’s still green behind the ears.

Mixed metaphors

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.

Golf Sports

Fat: Energy gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat