Author: Anonymous Page 117

Let's do this in one foul sweep.

Malaprops

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

Frugal Miscellaneous Money

Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.

Death Definitions

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

Animals Characteristics Dogs Expressions

“I knew the gun wasn’t loaded,” Tom said blankly.

Tom Swifties

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

Hunch: What you call an idea that you’re afraid is wrong.

Definitions

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Definitions

Due process of elimination

Mixed metaphors

improvise

Tom Swifties

Executive Suite: A sugar daddy.

Definitions

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Time

You could take that guy with a grain a salt.

Mixed metaphors

The wages of sin are unreported.

Government Taxes

Courtship: When a fellow gets so wrapped up in a girl that it’s easy to tie the knot.

Definitions Relationships

You're like a dog barking down the wrong well.

Mixed metaphors

Acrimony: The holy state of being married.

Definitions Marriage

Let's clear up a loose end.

Mixed metaphors

Sport: War without killing.

Definitions

It's like locking the barn door after the nuts have bolted.

Mixed metaphors

Everybody and his dog was there.

Expressions People