Author: Anonymous Page 144

Critic: One quick-on-the-flaw.

Definitions Occupations

“I knew the gun wasn’t loaded,” Tom said blankly.

Tom Swifties

Callous: Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

Characteristics Definitions

Altar-Boy: A type of bicycle accident.

Definitions

We heard the sea is infatuated with sharks.

Animals Malaprops

A wink is as good as a nod, to a blind horse.

Expressions

“All right, I will allow the prisoners to wear perfume,” the warden consented.

Tom Swifties

Yodeling: Slope opera.

Definitions Wordplay

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians

Honeymoon: The morning after the knot before.

Communication Definitions Marriage

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Divorce Marriage

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Cemetery: A place people are dying to get into.

Definitions

Snoring: Sound sleeping.

Definitions

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Definitions

Out of the mouths of babes come things parents never should have said.

Children Communication Family Speech

Dermatologist: Person who makes rash judgments.

Definitions Doctors Health

He is so fat… his driver's license says, “picture continued on other side.”

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

Never say “Oops” always say “Ah, interesting!”

Communication Mistakes Problems Speech

Domestic Harmony: Music produced only if the husband plays second fiddle.

Definitions Marriage