Author: Anonymous Page 144

Never let a child wearing Superman pajamas sleep on the top bunk.

Children Family

Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

Miscellaneous

“Someday I’ll run the CIA,” said Tom aspiringly.

Tom Swifties

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Definitions

Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.

Definitions Life

I have a lot of black sheep in my closet.

Mixed metaphors

I'm tired of walking on kid gloves.

Mixed metaphors

A wink is as good as a nod, to a blind horse.

Expressions

Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.

Definitions Doctors Health

Accordionated: Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Definitions Wordplay

Silence is bliss.

Mixed metaphors

“I’ve never had a car accident,” said Tom recklessly.

Tom Swifties

Conference: A meeting at which people talk about what they should already be doing.

Definitions

Dandruff: Chips off the old block.

Definitions

I understand that Congress has taken the first step in the fight against air pollution: limiting the speeches to five minutes.

Congress Government

Cartoon: What’s sung when driving your car.

Definitions

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

If he were alive today, he’d be turning over in his grave.

Mixed metaphors

Phillips Screwdriver: Used  to round off Phillips screw heads.

Definitions Things

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Definitions

Ad Hoc: Pawn shop advertisement.

Definitions