Author: Anonymous Page 36

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

“It’s just gold leaf”, said Tom guiltily.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… I had to take a train and two buses just to get on his good side.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

“I have to check the score on this exam again,” Tom remarked.

Tom Swifties

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's too late to close the barn door.

Mixed metaphors

The president will put the ship of state on its feet.

Mixed metaphors

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Definitions Places

Reunion: When you meet people your own age who all look a lot older than you.

Definitions People

No two people in a car can agree on which window should be open… and how much.

Autos Things

Vuja de: The feeling you've never been here.

Definitions

He is so fat… when he steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please."

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Banker: A pawn broker with a manicure.

Definitions Occupations Work

A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.

Alcohol Food/Drink

Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.

Definitions Government Taxes

They live so deep in the woods they kept possums as yard dogs.

Animals Expressions Places Situations

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women

Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.

Definitions Doctors Health

Dollar: The jack of all trades.

Definitions

Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.

Definitions

“Those cobs are amazing!” said Tom cornily.

Tom Swifties