Author: Anonymous Page 36

I'll bet she has her clothes made by Orville, the tent maker.

Malaprops

Igloo: An icicle built for two.

Definitions

Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it.

Communication Speech

That will round out the triangle.

Mixed metaphors

Boundary: In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.

Definitions Places

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Work

Ad Hoc: Pawn shop advertisement.

Definitions

It was so cold… we didn't clean the house – we just defrosted it.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Stirred the sea into a bowl of boiling cauldron

Mixed metaphors

Exhaustion: Sufficient cause for the hospitalization of a celebrity – the normal state of existence for the rest of the working world.

Definitions

“I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner,” said Tom succinctly.

Tom Swifties

“Where shall I plant these water lilies?” Tom pondered.

Tom Swifties

“I’m burning aromatic substances,” said Tom, incensed.

Tom Swifties

Below: Sing Bass.

Definitions

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

Appearance Body Definitions

“It only looks like cocaine,” Tom snorted.

Tom Swifties

… on hollowed ground

Malaprops

“I’m in the shower,” called out Tom barely audible.

Tom Swifties

Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Communication Definitions