Author: Anonymous Page 43

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

“Another plate of seafood for me!” Tom clamored.

Automatic: If something is automatic, that simple means that you can’t repair it yourself.

Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

“Let’s sort this out,” Tom ordered.

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

“I can’t be bothered,” said Tom carelessly.

They live in a two-storage house.

Hospital Bed: A parked taxi with the meter running.

We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.

“Watch out for that broken glass!” she said sharply.

We're robbing Peter to pay the piper.

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

One hundred degrees better

“That horse looks like a good bet at 20 to 1,” said Tom oddly.

I'm not the kind of person who wears his heart up his sleeve.