Author: Anonymous Page 43

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

House: Domicile purchased by married couples so they have some place to pour all their money.

Definitions

Tears: Remorse code.

Definitions Wordplay

When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Characteristics Intelligence

“And to think I swallowed that lie, hook, line and sinker!” Tom gulped.

Tom Swifties

Neurotic: Someone who worries about things that didn’t happen in the past instead of worrying about things that won’t happen in the future.

Definitions People

“The girl has been kidnapped,” said Tom mistakenly.

Tom Swifties

Actions speak louder than words — but not so often.

Communication

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Definitions Golf Sports

A veritable land mine of valuable information.

Malaprops

Pocket Watch: A watch for people who don’t like having time on their hands.

Definitions Time

Executive: A big gun – that hasn’t been fired yet.

Definitions

I'd like to be a fish on the wall at that meeting.

Mixed metaphors

Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer. 

Beer Food/Drink

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

“I can no longer hear anything,” said Tom deftly.

Tom Swifties

He's a wolf in cheap clothing.

Malaprops

He's trying to gain a foothold in the public eye.

Mixed metaphors

Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.

Divorce Marriage

Amateur Athlete: An athlete who is paid in cash, not by check..

Definitions

Tissue: Your daily nosepaper.

Definitions Wordplay