Subject: Appearance

Militant feminists, I take my hat off to them, they don’t like that.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Appearance Clothing People Women

A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in.

(1712 – 1786) King of Prussia
Appearance Clothing

She is so ugly… when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

1. Beauty is only skin deep, but it’s a superficial world. 2. Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, yet pin-ups find plenty of room.

Appearance

Middle age: When a woman’s hair starts turning from gray to black.

Age Appearance Definitions Hair

Fashion: A make-work program to get women to buy new clothes for no real reason before the old clothes wear out.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance People

We were making love and I took the bag off my head.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Death Ugly

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Appearance Body Characteristics

Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Age Appearance Body Old

You are 32, you are rapidly approaching the age when your body, whether it embarrasses you or not, begins to embarrass other people.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Age Appearance Body

I got some new underwear the other day… well, new to me.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing

Smilin’ like a goat in a briarpatch

Appearance Expressions

You’re welcome to take a bath; you look like the second week of the garbage strike.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Appearance

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People Self

Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Appearance Insults

Outside every fat man there is an even fatter man trying to close in.

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet
Appearance Body Fat

A face like a wedding cake left out in the rain.

Appearance People

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

(1943 – ) English rock singer
Activities Appearance Body Fat Self

In feathered hats that were once the rage, she resembles a petrified parakeet from the Jurassic age; a royal wreck.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Insults

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Appearance Body Fat