Subject: Health (Page 5)

Somewhere in the world is… the world’s worst doctor… and he could be yours.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Doctors Health

My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Doctors Exercise Health

I shouldn’t tell jokes about my wife. She’s attached to a machine that keeps her alive… the refrigerator.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Food/Drink Health

Only have a nervous breakdown if you’ve got loads of money, and then you can really enjoy it.

(1955 – ) English composer, singer, songwriter & producer
Health Money Situations

Doctor: The only man who hasn’t a guaranteed cure for a cold.

Definitions Doctors Health

I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Entertainment Film Health

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

(1875 – 1965) German/French theologian, organist, philosopher, physician & medical missionary
Emotions Happiness Health Intelligence Memory

In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg… but leukemia is worse still.

English former football player & manager
Health Misspokements Sports

Please excuse Betty from school Tuesday, she had a cold and could not breed well.

Health Malaprops

She got her good looks from her father, he’s a plastic surgeon.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Doctors Family Fathers Health

He was in cardial arrest.

Health Malaprops

It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Health Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

”I think therefore I am.” is the statement of an intellectual who underrates toothaches.

(1929 – ) Czech writer
Health

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Health Life

Handkerchief: Cold Storage.

Definitions Health

Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Health

Most Doctors Agree Breathing Regularly is Good for You

Doctors Headlines Health

An apple every eight hours keeps three doctors away.

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws

The vet says the dog will not lick the salve because the salve tastes bad to the dog… hello?… he's already licking his ass.

(1960 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Health

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Health Success