Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 20)

She is so thin… she doesn’t cast a shadow.

A bikini is like a barbed-wire fence… it protects the property without obstructing the view.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

He looks like a bag of antlers.

Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.

(1934 – ) Italian actress

I've been big ever since I was little.

American football player

I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.


He looked like something that had gotten loose from Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

(1888 – 1964) comedian & actor

You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

I was walking down the street, something caught my eye – and dragged it fifteen feet.

(1956 – ) American comedian

I was dating this girl once for a few weeks, and the first time she saw my penis, she said, 'Is everything a joke with you?'

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

I know [my head] is big because every time I'm in a picture, it always looks like I'm really close to the camera.

Canadian comedian

You know you're getting fat when you go to unbutton the top of your pants – and you already did it.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

I tan the easy way… I just wait for my liver spots to connect.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace

I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor

John Conteh has a neck like a stately home staircase.

English boxer