Subject: Appearance (Page 9)

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Age Appearance

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Children Young

I would give my left nut for a really nice guitar… I don't actually play the guitar, but I have three testicles.

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Appearance Body

In his prime, Joe Bugner had the physique of a Greek statue, but he had fewer moves.

(1934 – ) Scottish sports writer
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Mind Power

Appearance Body Book Titles

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Self

If I see something sagging, bagging, and dragging, I’m going to nip, tuck it, and suck it.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body

Toupée: Top secret.

Appearance Definitions Hair

I have good looking kids; thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Children Family Wives

He should know better than that. He knows I only drink scotch.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Body Hockey Sports

He's as big as a gorilla and as strong as a gorilla; if he was as smart as a gorilla he'd be fine.

college football coach
Animals Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

She is so fat… she broke the family tree.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Phyllis Diller’s had so many facelifts, there’s nothing left in her shoes.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Appearance Body

Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Appearance Characteristics

The same dress is indecent ten years before its time; daring one year before its time; chic in its time; dowdy five years after its time; hideous twenty years after its time; amusing thirty years after its time; romantic one hundred years after its time; beautiful one hundred and fifty years after its time.

(1899 – 1975) English fashion designer & critic
Appearance Clothing

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches, but since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.

(1982 – ) American author
Appearance Hair Relationships

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends People Women

I'm Jewish and Italian, and I lucked out and got the nose of both cultures.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Appearance People

Little things start to change in your life — like your socks start to get tight.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

We have lived through the era when happiness was a warm puppy, and the era when happiness was a dry martini, and now we have come to the era when happiness is "knowing what your uterus looks like.”

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Appearance Body People Women

I got a book for my birthday “How to make it big.” I had to take it back, it was about money

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body