Subject: Beliefs (Page 34)

Evil is live spelled backwards.
Corollary: If it feels good, don't do it.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws

Any theory can be made to fit any facts by means of appropriate additional assumptions.

Facts Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

That's still how Irish people are seen, as twinkly-eyed f**kers with a pig under their arm, high-stepping it around the world, going 'I'll paint your house now, but watch out, I might steal the ladder later, ohohoho!' – which is only half true!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Places

Truth hurts… maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing… but it hurts.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Truth TV/Movie Quotes

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.

(1928 – 1982) American novelist, short story writer & essayist
Beliefs Life Truth

Everything you read in the newspapers is absolutely true except for that rare story of which you happen to have firsthand knowledge.

Characteristics Communication Honesty Murphy’s Laws Truth

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Beliefs Men People Women

You don’t listen to a guy who looks like the kid in ‘Deliverance’ all grown up.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Beliefs Government Opinion Politicians

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs Government Politics

Don't lie, steal, or cheat unnecessarily.

Characteristics Conflict Honesty Murphy’s Laws

Isn’t it funny how everyone in favor of abortion has already been born.

(1956 – ) English actor
Beliefs

Politeness is half good manners and half good lying.

(1880 – ?) American author
Characteristics Lies

When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Government

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports

Christians can have big tits, too.

(1921 – 2011) American film actress & sex symbol
Appearance Beliefs Body Religion

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Opinion People

Leviticus Also Said “No Hair Cuts” But I Guess We Are Skipping That One

Beliefs Religion Signs

What you take for lying in an Irishman is only his attempt to put an herbaceous border on stark reality.

(1878 – 1957) Irish poet, author, athlete & politician
Beliefs Honesty Lies People Places

A good review is considered nepotism; a bad one professional jealousy.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Opinion

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.

(1563 – 1608) Italian Catholic priest
Beliefs Cooking England Food/Drink Places Religion