Subject: Characteristics (Page 29)

Men are pigs; too bad we own everything.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics Men People

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Characteristics Children Family Parents People

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs, but by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.

(1872 – 1956) English essayist, parodist & caricaturist
Characteristics People

Truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to make sense.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Truth

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it's the size of the fight in the dog.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Characteristics

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics

I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty… but I am too busy thinking about myself.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Characteristics

Optimist: A middle-aged man who believes that the cleaners have been shrinking the waistband of his pants.

Body Characteristics Definitions People

I'm not a lesbian; I can't even do improv.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Characteristics Sex

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink People

I need to develop some patience — immediately.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Characteristics

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Communication Money

1. No matter what they're telling you, they're not telling you the whole truth. 2. No matter what they're talking about, they're talking about money.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Money Murphy’s Laws Truth

A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Characteristics Honesty Lies

A hard dog to keep on the porch.

(1947 – ) U.S. Secretary of State, senator (New York) & first lady
Characteristics

She's generous to a fault… if it's her own.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Communication

A loafer always has the correct time.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Time

You think of me as narcissistic when actually I'm just oblivious to other people.

(1954 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics People Self