Subject: Communication (Page 19)

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing; now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Communication Golf Speech Sports

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication

My boss told me to get my butt in gear… I told him I was shiftless.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Communication Language Work

In my opinion I think that the author when he is writing should not get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words which he does not really need.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

It’s not that the world that’s got so much worse, but the news coverage that’s got so much better.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Communication

Graffiti: Urban scrawl.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Invitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

writer
Communication Wordplay

She went into the hospital after being bitten by a spider in a bathing suit.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Language Misspokements

Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression… what a sad state of affairs.


Communication Wordplay

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Fools Intelligence

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, "Who do you think you are?"

(1956 – 1996) American comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

That's not writing, that's typing.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

Three hours a day will produce as much as a man ought to write.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Time

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as ‘4’s’?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

You can say ‘Thanks,’ and you can say ‘Thanks a Million’ – but any number in between? … uhuh.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

I must tell you that the supply of words on the world market is plentiful, but the demand is falling.

(1943 – ) Polish trade-union organizer, human-rights activist & president
Communication

Don't use no double negatives.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Holy deadlock.

(1890 – 1971) English humorist, novelist & playwright
Marriage Wordplay

The first draft of anything is shit.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Communication Reading/Writing