Subject: Education (Page 10)

Education is the process of moving from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Education Murphy’s Laws

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Family Parents Reading/Writing School

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Computers Dogs School Things

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Education Learning

The book or periodical most vital to the completion of your term paper will be missing from the library.

Corollary: If it is available, the most important page will be torn out.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Education Fools Intelligence Stupidity

He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Education Insults Learning

During exams you are permitted to look down for inspiration and up in exasperation, but you are not permitted to look side to side for information.

Education

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Education Intelligence Misspokements Places World

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it’s the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Activities Dance Education Girls Men People Women

How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?… your dog is missing, and your homework is done.

(1962 – ) American television host, actress & comedian
Animals Dogs People School

Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers; my opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.


Communication Education Reading/Writing School

If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
Education School

Teacher: A person who swore she would starve before teaching, and who has been doing both ever since.

Definitions Education

She was old too, when she went to school they didn’t have history.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education History Old School Time

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

Teacher: A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Children Definitions Education

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Education Law Money School

He is so old… when he was in school they didn’t teach history!

Age Education Exaggerations Old School