Subject: Education (Page 12)

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Computers Dogs School Things

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Education Government Murphy’s Laws Politics

The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws

I never did very well in math – I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Education School

Can’t anything be done about calling these guys student athletes? … That’s like referring to Attila the Hun’s cavalry as “weekend warriors.”

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Education People School Sports

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

(1980 – ) cartoonist
Education School Things

Education: A technique employed to open minds so that they may go from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Definitions Education

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

One in For Kids Drops Out of High School

Education Headlines

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Education Money School

If you think that education is expensive, try ignorance.

(1930 – ) American lawyer & educator
Education Intelligence Money

1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly 2. If at first you don’t succeed, you will never succeed.

Education Murphy’s Laws Success

In school, every period ends with a bell… every sentence ends with a period… every crime ends with a sentence.


Education School

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

Anyone who has passed through the regular gradations of a classical education, and is not made a fool by it, may consider himself as having had a very narrow escape.

(1778 – 1830) English writer, essayist, critic, grammarian & philosopher
Education

Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.

Communication Education Murphy’s Laws

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Education Entertainment Money

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Education Law Money School

"We Hate Math" says 4 in 10 – A Majority of Americans

Education Headlines

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

Education Government Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Politics Sports

I was thinkin' maybe we should just bomb ourselves so we could upgrade our school system.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Conflict Education School War