Subject: Education (Page 2)

The total attention paid to an instructor is a constant regardless of the size of the class.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Education Football Sports

[Caddyshack] was a six-million-dollar scholarship to film school.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
Education Entertainment Film

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education Learning Memory School

Something very sad about the fact that I haven’t read Moby Dick, but I have read the Kindergarten Cop Wikipedia page.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Education Reading/Writing

Class schedules are designed so that every student will have time to waste between classes.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

A diploma only proves that you know how to look up an answer.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Education School

Teaching wasn’t that bad – except for the kids.

comedian
Children Education

Collegians Are Turning To Vegetables

Headlines School

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology… the study of milkmen.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Education

When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

Education Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

I'm from one of those places where the whole number system consists of one, two and a shitload.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Education Places

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

(1980 – ) cartoonist
Education School Things

 This job is better than I could get if I used my college degree, which, at this point, I can't remember what it was in.

professional football player
Education Football Misspokements Sports

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay

Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

A self-made man is one who believes in luck and sends his son to Oxford.

(1902 – 1983) Australian novelist & short-story writer
Education Success

Don’t marry a man to reform him; that’s what reform schools are for.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men School

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

I read Shakespeare and the Bible and I can shoot dice; that’s what I call a liberal education.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Education