Subject: Education (Page 8)

I'm from one of those places where the whole number system consists of one, two and a shitload.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Education Places

I had a terrible education… I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Education School

The total attention paid to an instructor is a constant regardless of the size of the class.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Conflict Education School

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence School

In school, every period ends with a bell… every sentence ends with a period… every crime ends with a sentence.


Education School

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

To learn that all I really need to know I learned in kindergarten, I needed to go to grad school.


Education Learning

You might be a redneck if… you have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Mothers People Rednecks School

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Death Fathers School Situations

When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

You live and learn… at any rate, you live.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Education Learning Life

Learn of the skillful; he that teaches himself, has a fool for his master.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Education Learning

Some folks are so highly educated they can bore you on any subject.

Education

Education with socialists: it’s like sex, all right so long as you don’t have to pay for it

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Education Sex

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Education Marriage School

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it’s the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Activities Dance Education Girls Men People Women

Teacher: A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Children Definitions Education

 I want a school my football team can be proud of.

(1905 – 1998) botanist, author & University of Oklahoma president
Education Football Misspokements School Sports

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports