Subject: Education » School (Page 3)

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education School Time

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the fifth grade as “my senior year.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education People Rednecks School

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian
Education School Science/Weather

Lecture: A process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the student, without passing through the minds of either.

Definitions Education School

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports

Sex doesn’t have to be taught; it’s something most of us are born with.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
School Sex

When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

College was like a four-year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep?”

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Education School

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Education Murphy’s Laws Places School

Collegians Are Turning To Vegetables

Headlines School

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

You might be a redneck if… you have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Mothers People Rednecks School

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Education Money School

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education Learning Memory School

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education England Places School

I spent three of the happiest years of my life in the fifth grade.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education School TV/Movie Quotes