Subject: Emotions

Happiness is… finding two olives in your martini when you’re hungry.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Emotions Happiness

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Anger Emotions

Tennis is like marrying for money; ‘love’ means nothing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Love Marriage Sports

The fury engendered by the misspelling of a name in a (newspaper) column is in direct ratio to the obscurity of the mentionee.

Anger Characteristics Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Love is what you make it; unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.

(1982 – ) American author
Emotions Love

Your heart is my piñata.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Anger Emotions Love

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Food/Drink Laughter

Desire: The thing that is so often nipped in the budget.

Definitions Emotions

I only like two kinds of men; domestic and foreign.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Men People Places

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Communication Emotions Love Speech

I moved to New York for my health; I’m paranoid, and New York was the only place where my fears were justified.

Fear Health New York City Places

I saw a pair of knickers today on the front it said, “I would do anything for love” and on the back it said “but I won't do that.”

(1975 – ) English comedian
Emotions Love Sex

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Alcohol Beer Emotions Food/Drink God Happiness

She was always crying; in fact, she wept so much she made everybody's corns ache.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Emotions

Don't let the whole world come here and see our stuff; it just pisses them off.

television executive & comedian
America Anger Emotions Places World

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Divorce Emotions Love Marriage

He who laughs, lasts.

author
Emotions Laughter

I used to be afraid of relationships; someone would ask me out and I'd say, 'Just take my purse, don't hurt me!'

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Dating Fear Relationships

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Emotions Happiness People Situations Sleep

Farmers only worry during the growing season, but townspeople worry all the time.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Emotions

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you’re telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Emotions Family Love