Subject: Emotions

I’m in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn’t even know I exist – and worse… she can prove it.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Intelligence Love Situations

Tennis is like marrying for money; ‘love’ means nothing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Love Marriage Sports

Marriage is bliss… Ignorance is bliss… Ergo…

Emotions Happiness Marriage

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Emotions Entertainment God Laughter

Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Characteristics Fear

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Laughter People Self

Man is the only animal that blushes… or needs to.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Emotions People

It is better to be on penicillin, than never to have loved at all.

Emotions Love

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Emotions Marriage

One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author
Happiness Intelligence People

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

(1920 – ) Hungarian writer
Emotions Laughter People Self

My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Marriage Time Wives

Happiness is the China shop; love is the bull.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions Happiness Love

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Happiness

My grief counsellor died the other day… but he was so good I didn’t give a shit.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Death Emotions

Sex is emotion in motion.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Sex

My daddy always said that a man who walks around with a smile on his face all the time can’t possibly know what's going on.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Emotions Intelligence

Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, but it sure heats up the blood.

(1939 – ) American actress
Emotions

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Emotions Entertainment Laughter

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.

(1821 – 1880) French novelist
Emotions Happiness Stupidity