Subject: Emotions

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Emotions Happiness

Love is blind… but marriage is the real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

(1920 – ) Hungarian writer
Emotions Laughter People Self

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Emotions Happiness Money

If it bends it’s funny. If it breaks, it’s not funny.

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Emotions TV/Movie Quotes

If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip-clubs?

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Emotions

Love is staying up all night with a sick child… or a healthy adult.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Emotions Love

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?


Emotions Situations

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

Emotions Memory Past

It's better to have loved and lost than do forty pounds of laundry a week.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter
Emotions Housework Love

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy; one is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

Emotions Happiness Marriage Wives

My shrink told me that my happiness was stress related.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Self

As my mother used to say, ‘You’ll get unconditional love from me when you’ve earned it.

(1954 – ) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Family Mothers Relationships

Happier than a pig in slop

Emotions Expressions Happiness

There must be one day above all others in each life that is the happiest

Corollary: What if you’ve already had it?

Emotions Happiness Murphy’s Laws Time

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Emotions Intelligence

I know what love is ‘cuz’ I watch talk shows… love is the end of happiness!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Emotions Love TV/Movie Quotes

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Characteristics Children Fear Health People

I had to give up masochism – I was enjoying it too much.

(1931 – 1994) British cartoonist
Characteristics Emotions

I have no problem with homophobia; as long as they do it behind closed doors.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Fear Sex

He was grinning like a butchers dog.

Emotions Expressions Happiness