Subject: Government (Page 47)

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Government Money

In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Government Law

We shouldn’t have to be burdened with all the technicalities that come up from time to time with shrewd, smart lawyers interpreting what the laws or what the Constitution may or may not say.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Law Lawyers Misspokements

Trickle-down theory – the less than elegant metaphor that if one feeds the horse enough oats, some will pass through to the road for the sparrows.

(1908 – 2006) Canadian-American economist
Government

We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once.

Definitions Politicians Problems

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Elections/Voting Government

Law expands in proportion to the resources available for its enforcement.

Government Murphy’s Laws

I called the Census Bureau to see why they hadn't sent me a form, and they said that I was too nondescript to influence the demographics one way or another.

comedian
Government

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Death Government Taxes

Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we're going to succeed.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

(1911 – ) American editor & writer
Government Occupations

Dear Jack, don't buy a single vote more than necessary; I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide.

(1888 – 1969) American businessman & father of President John Kennedy
Government

I wanted to join the Army… the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be'… they told me it wasn't enough.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Government Military

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

The spirit of public service will rise, and the bureaucracy will multiply itself much faster, in time of grave national concern.

Government Murphy’s Laws

I’m convinced there’s a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Government

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
America Government People Places Politicians

Nation’s Hungry Attack Meese

Government Headlines

Perhaps we could have a translation, I could not quite follow.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Government

What’s needed in government is more horse sense and less nonsense.

Government