Subject: Health (Page 4)

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Food/Drink Health

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

(1875 – 1961) Swiss psychiatrist & founder of analytical psychology
Health

I go to a woman dentist… it a relief to be told to open my mouth instead of shut it.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Health

Toothaches tend to start on Saturday night.

Health Murphy’s Laws

Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Health Time

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising… it was the only exercise I got.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Alcohol Exercise Food/Drink Health

What Moles Tell You About Yourself

Book Titles Health

I used to work at a health food store; I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Health

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance; we'll see about that.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Doctors Health

“Herbal medicine’s been around for thousands of years!” … and then we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became ‘medicine’… and the rest of it is just a nice bowl of soup and some potpourri.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Health

Groinocologist

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

The only sport where you can spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg. 

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Activities Health Sports

The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.

Health Military Murphy’s Laws

He once had a unbiblical hernia.

Health Malaprops

The biggest difference between the psychiatrist and the patient is that the psychiatrist has learned how to live with it.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Doctors Health Life People

Three things are bad for you: I can't remember the first two, but doughnuts are the third.

football coach
Food/Drink Football Health Sports

Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.

Definitions Health Wordplay

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Age Health Young

If your time ain’t come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Death Doctors Health Life Proverbs

You don't get ulcers from what you eat; you get them from what's eating you.

(1888 – 1960) Austrian writer
Eating Food/Drink Health Problems

What do we want? — A cure for dyslexia.
When do we want it? — Own.

(1954 – ) English comedian writer
Health