Subject: Intelligence (Page 24)

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Cold Football Intelligence Places Sports

My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice; one day, he took me aside and left me there.

American comedian
Intelligence Memory Relationships

The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

You're just trying to make me admit something I didn't do. I know all about reverse biology, buddy. I'm not an idiot.

Intelligence Malaprops

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Intelligence Money Stupidity Wealth

The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Autos Driving Intelligence Things

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Intelligence Thinking

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.

(1885 – 1962) Danish physicist
Communication Thinking

She was short on intellect, but long on shape.

(1866 – 1944) American writer, newspaper columnist, playwright & humorist
Appearance Insults Intelligence

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

(1892 – 1942) American painter
Animals Ideas Intelligence Situations

Look at him and you'd think he's 16… talk to him and you think he's 26; talk baseball with him, and you'd think he's 36.

(1881 – 1965) American Major League Baseball executive
Baseball Intelligence Sports

Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs!


Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

I guess the definition of a lunatic is a man surrounded by them.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Definitions Intelligence People

He has the lucidity which is the byproduct of a fundamentally sterile mind.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Insults Intelligence

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Alcohol Intelligence Memory Situations

If you understand it, it's obsolete.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Understanding

The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Arms Conflict Stupidity

We grow too soon old and too late smart.

Age Old Proverbs Wisdom

More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Beliefs Intelligence Religion

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

Emotions Memory Past

The fellow who laughs last may laugh best, but he gets the reputation of being very slow-witted.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Emotions Fools Intelligence Laughter