Subject: Marriage » Husbands (Page 3)

There's nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
Husbands Marriage People Wives

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage

All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains; what good are brains to a man? … they only unsettle him.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Husbands Intelligence Marriage Wisdom

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Conversation Husbands Marriage Wives

If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words ‘we need to talk about our relationship’ may help.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Husbands Marriage Relationships Sleep

Colonel Mustard: How many husbands have you had?
Mrs. White: Mine or other women's?

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Husbands TV/Movie Quotes

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix’ that's why he's never worked.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Husbands Marriage Work

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Wives

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Husbands Marriage Things Wives

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Conflict Housework Husbands Marriage Proverbs

I should have suspected my husband was lazy; on our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Husbands Marriage

The only thing worse than a husband who never notices what you cook or what you wear is a husband who always notices what you cook and what you wear.

Appearance Cooking Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Husbands Men People Success Wives Women

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Husbands Marriage People

Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.

Husbands Marriage

If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Husbands Marriage Wives

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Sleep

Before we make love, my husband takes a painkiller.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Husbands Insults Marriage Sex

If you run into an old girlfriend – no matter how innocently – your wife will know about it before you get home.

Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws Wives

I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.

(1894 – 1988) American journalist, novelist & screenwriter
Husbands Marriage Women