Subject: Marriage (Page 3)

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Husbands Men People Success Wives Women

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Expressions Marriage

Newlywed: A man who puts up the storm windows the first time his wife suggests it.

Definitions Marriage

When in the course of human affairs – your spouse always finds out.

Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws Wives

Divorce: A splitting headache.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Marriage Money Work

Marriage isn't a word… it's a sentence.

(1894 – 1982) American film director, film producer & screenwriter
Marriage

That’s when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Marriage

If you run into an old girlfriend – no matter how innocently – your wife will know about it before you get home.

Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws Wives

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend; a successful woman is one who can find such a man.

(1921 – 1995) American actress
Husbands Marriage Wives

It is a truth universally acknowledge, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Money Wives

Marriage: A  relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Definitions Marriage

She admitted to me recently that when she first met me, she didn't really like me very much; but luckily for me, she really wanted to stay in this country.

comedian
Marriage Wives

I believe people ought to mate for life… like pigeons or Catholics.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Marriage People

Two mothers-in-law.

(1832 – 1900) Lord Chief Justice of England & Wales
Marriage

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Marriage

I just wrote ‘I still love you, see last years card for full details.’

(1976 – ) English comedian & actor
Marriage

We’ve been married 21 years – 100 with the windchill factor.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Marriage

This is my second marriage, and I have a kid from my first marriage 'cause I like souvenirs.

(1963 – ) American comedian
Children Marriage

If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men People Women

A husband always prefers his wife’s mother-in-law to his own.

Marriage