Subject: Money (Page 33)

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Emotions Happiness Money

A lifelong friend is one you haven't borrowed money from yet.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Friends Money People

Death is a wonderful way of cutting down on your expenses.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Money

I put mirrors around all the light bulbs; now the electric company sends me a check each month.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money Situations

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

…if you rub up against money long enough, some of it may rub off on you.

(1990 – 1946) newspaperman & writer
Money

No one is rich enough to do without a neighbor.

People Proverbs Wealth

When you come to Heritage USA, remember to bring your Bible and your VISA card—because the Bible is the Holy Truth, and God doesn't take American Express.

(1939 – ) American televangelist
Beliefs God Money

Brooklyn is the only place where a guy can open up a candy store sell no candy and gross over eight million dollars a year.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Money Places

There are only two things as complicated as insurance accounting… and I have no idea what they are.

(1947 – ) American journalist, author & columnist
Money

A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Appearance Body Money Situations Women

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love; the poor know that it is money.

(1894 – 1987) British writer
Emotions Love Money People Wealth

If you’re wondering if you have enough money to take the family out to eat tonight, you don’t.

(1917 – 1994) American writer
Money

An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Characteristics Money

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Definitions Money

Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Eating Food/Drink Money

If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Entertainment Film Money

Everything takes more time and money.

Life Money Murphy’s Laws Time