Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 82)

1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

Gerrold’s Laws of Infernal Dynamics

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things Directions Motion

If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are sure to get out of it.

Austen's Second Law

Men Murphy’s Laws People Problems Jane Austen

The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for.

Glatum's Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness

Murphy’s Laws Things Purchases Usefulness

The direction of take-off will be opposite that of the final destination.

Hollenbeck's Law

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Directions

If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.

Boyle’s Third Law

Murphy’s Laws Work Competentcy

Second-rate people hire third-rate people.

Rosten’s First Law

Murphy’s Laws People Work (Leo Rosten) Hiring

In a family recipe that you discovered in an old book, the most vital measurement will be illegible.

First Law of Kitchen Confusion

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Recipes

Don’t force it; get a larger hammer.

Anthony's Law of Force

Murphy’s Laws Things Hammers

Everything is more complicated than it looks to most people.

Allen's Law

Murphy’s Laws People Complication

If on an actuarial basis there is a 50-50 chance that something will go wrong, it will actually go wrong nine times out of ten.

Economists' Law II

Murphy’s Laws Problems 50-50 chances Odds

If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working on it.

Kettering's First Law

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Committees

The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.

Jennings' Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Bread Butter Carpet Value

He who laughs last probably didn’t get the joke.

Boehm's 1st Law of Assistance

Emotions Laughter Murphy’s Laws Jokes

Never murder a man who is committing suicide.

Wilson’s Law

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics Situations (Woodrow Wilson)

Your wife's stored possessions will always be on top of your stored possessions.

Murphy's Fourth Law for Husbands

Marriage Murphy’s Laws Things Wives

After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.

Gumperson's – Corollary I

Money Murphy’s Laws Work Salary

When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear; when there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.

Anonymous Murphy's Law

Money Murphy’s Laws Time Banks Checks

Under current practices, both expenditures and revenues rise to meet each other, no matter which one may be in excess.

Bolton's Law of Ascending Budgets

Money Murphy’s Laws Budgets

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 82)

If a string has one end, it has another.

When in doubt, empty the magazine.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are sure to get out of it.

The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for.

The direction of take-off will be opposite that of the final destination.

If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.

Second-rate people hire third-rate people.

In a family recipe that you discovered in an old book, the most vital measurement will be illegible.

Don’t force it; get a larger hammer.

Everything is more complicated than it looks to most people.

If on an actuarial basis there is a 50-50 chance that something will go wrong, it will actually go wrong nine times out of ten.

If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working on it.

The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.

He who laughs last probably didn’t get the joke.

Never murder a man who is committing suicide.

Your wife's stored possessions will always be on top of your stored possessions.

After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.

When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear; when there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.

Under current practices, both expenditures and revenues rise to meet each other, no matter which one may be in excess.