Subject: People » Men (Page 2)

Never underestimate a man’s ability to underestimate a woman.

(1954 – ) American actress

They took a survey: “Why do men get up in the middle of the night?” Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

One man's folly is another man's wife.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

If it has genitals on the outside it’s hiding something on the inside.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

Men don't get cellulite — God might just be a man.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Women with "pasts" interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Sure men were born to lie, and women, to believe them.

(1685 – 1732) English writer

Love is what happens to a man and woman who don't know each other.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist

With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes; with male menopause you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

I don’t believe in vitamin pills; I swear by men, darling, and as many as possible.

(1933 – ) English actress & author

A homeless guy asked me for 2 pounds, so I gave him 1.67 because that’s what a woman would get paid for doing the same job.

British comedian

Some women pick men to marry; and others pick them to pieces.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Ladies, if you’re at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the mall with you… he… loves you.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they' ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion rules, including: both of your socks should always be the same color, or they should at least both be fairly dark.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces; women just go on cooking.