Subject: People (Page 105)

All modern men are descended from a wormlike creature… but it shows more on some people.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
History People Time

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Friends People

It was a hard name to have growing up as a child; kids would call me names like “Birbiglebug” and “Birbibliography” and “Faggot.”

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
People Self

That’s why they’re man’s best friend… ‘cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are; so do women, but they’ve already got men

(1957 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Men People

Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Intelligence People

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Definitions People

The reports on human progress are beginning to come in, and some are a little discouraging.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life People

Canadians are generally indistinguishable from Americans, and the surest way of telling the two apart is to make that observation to a Canadian.

Canadian physician & professor
People Places

People to whom you are attracted invariably think you remind them of someone else.

Love Murphy’s Laws People

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

(1922 – ) American author, publisher & editor
Girls People

The man has a 70% approval rate, which makes sense to me because he's pretty much done everything I expected him to do: the economy's in the toilet, we're at war and everything's on fire.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
People Problems

I like my buddies from west Texas; I liked them when I was young; I liked them then I was middle – age; I liked them before I was president; and I like them during president, and I like them after president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Age Friends People Places President

Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Doctors Health People

My neighbor complains every time my girlfriend and I have sex; we’re not even that loud, but he used to date my girlfriend.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Girlfriends People Situations

Fifty percent of people have a below-average understanding of statistics.

People Science/Weather

The fact that you do not know the answer does not meant that someone else does.

Murphy’s Laws People

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
Intelligence Men People Women

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Individuals

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men People Women

If you want to offend terrorists, if you’re a woman, wear a dress, and if you're a man, wear a dress. 

British-Asian comedian
People

Takes a hard man to eat boiled owl.

(1905 – 1982) American film & stage actor
People TV/Movie Quotes