Subject: People (Page 110)

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language Money

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.

(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
Characteristics England People Places

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Husbands Men People Success Wives Women

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.

(1875 – 1965) German/French theologian, organist, philosopher, physician & medical missionary
People

Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started down the road of professional basketball before an ankle injury diverted him to science.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
People Science/Weather

Fifty percent of people have a below-average understanding of statistics.

People Science/Weather

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

Men in high levels of government seldom surf.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Government Men Occupations People Work

You might be a redneck if… your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Divorce Marriage People Rednecks Relationships

Some people are so narrow-minded that they have to stack their thoughts vertically.

(1953 – 1987) Dutch-born American actor
People

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Sex Sports

I would like it if four people did a cartwheel all at once… so I can make a cart.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Situations

A committee is the only life form with 12 stomachs and no brain.

Murphy’s Laws People

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Intelligence People Thinking

The real trouble with war (modern war) is that it gives no one a chance to kill the right people.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Conflict Killing People War

When you are down and out something always turns up – and it is usually the noses of your friends.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director
Friends People Situations Young

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Books Communication People Reading/Writing Self

I get a lot of cracks about my hair, mostly from men who don't have any.

(1933 – 2006) politician
Appearance Hair Men

After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face; my advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Age Appearance Women

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Definitions Intelligence People Self

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Friends People