Subject: People (Page 23)

The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

Dating Men Relationships Sex

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Intelligence People

Many men and women enjoy popular esteem, not because they are known, but because they are not known.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Men People Women

One man's folly is another man's wife.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Wives

When man and woman die, as poets sung, his heart's the last part moves, her last, the tongue.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Men People Women

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny; if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Food/Drink Men People Sex

In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.

American baseball umpire
Baseball People Sports Women

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.

(1905 – 1982) American mystery writer (co-author of Ellery Queen stories
Characteristics People Women

You might be a redneck if… the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks Relationships

Barbara and I celebrated our 51st wedding anniversary yesterday… we are very happy, but I would be happier if she got a job!

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults Marriage Self

Men are pigs; too bad we own everything.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics Men People

There are more fools in the world than there are people.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Fools Intelligence People

In any group of eagles, you will find some turkeys.

Murphy’s Laws People

I was not a particularly small child; I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school play.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Age Appearance Fat Self

Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent.

(1860 – 1921) U.S. senator (Pennsylvania)
Government Intelligence People

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Self Sex

A man who catches a big fish doesn't go home through an alley.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Characteristics People

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Government People Places Politicians

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Characteristics Honesty People Truth Women

Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’

(1943 – ) American football player
Age Characteristics Communication Self Young