Subject: People (Page 55)

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports; when four or more women get together, they talk about men.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Conversation Men People Speech Sports Women

You might be a redneck if… you think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

The price of purity is purists.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Characteristics People

Can’t anything be done about calling these guys student athletes? … That’s like referring to Attila the Hun’s cavalry as “weekend warriors.”

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Education People School Sports

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
People

Dinah [Shore] formed a foundation to locate missing senior citizens by putting their pictures on prune juice bottles.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Food/Drink Old People

It’s a lot easier being black than gay; at least if you’re black you don’t have to tell.

American comedian & motivational speaker
People

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much – just an occasional sun visor.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing Men People Shopping Women

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self

A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations – but they all will console themselves with another man.

(1899 – 1978) French actor
England People Places Relationships

According to obituary notices, a mean and useless citizen never dies.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Characteristics People

This is not the first time that Europe has been passive while a Jew-hating tyrant with a weird looking mustache killed the people by giving them gas… obviously I'm talking about Chef Boyardee.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Government People

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

(1932 – 2009) U.S. senator (Massachusetts)
People

I was so ugly, my mother breast fed me through a straw.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Hair Self

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny; if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Food/Drink Men People Sex

An Irishman is not drunk as long as he still has a blade of grass to hang onto.

Alcohol Food/Drink People

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Fools Intelligence People

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Girls People Women

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Conflict Killing Men People Women

Employees who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who do.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
People

Meryl Streep is not here tonight, she has the flu… and I hear she’s amazing in it.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Entertainment People