Subject: People » Self (Page 17)

I am the rock between me and the hard place.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
People Problems Self

My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Children Family People Self

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Self Sex

If I like it, I say it's mine; if don’t I say it's a fake.

(1881 – 1973) Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker & stage designer
Art Entertainment People Self

Facetime fulfills a secret human desire: to mostly look at yourself while talking to other people.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Computers People Self Things

When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Death People Self

It’s weird to hear a girl laugh when I’m not making love to her.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Laughter People Self Sex

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Self Sex

Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’

(1943 – ) American football player
Age Characteristics Communication Self Young

We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.

People Self

When people ask me what sign I was born under, I say "I'm not certain, but it could have been the one that says 'Dining Car in opposite direction'."

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Communication People Self

I’m not very domestic… for years my children though mold was a frosting.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Cooking Food/Drink People Self

The sheer immensity of the human self as envisioned by the world's religions is awesome.

(1919 – ) American religious studies scholar
Beliefs People Religion Self

I was born in 1962… and the room next to me was 1963.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age People Self

It's not what you are but what you don't become that hurts.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Self

My shrink told me it was pointless to believe in myself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs Self

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Poverty Self

I'm really not a Facebook or Twitter guy; I'm a prime-rib-and-baked-potato guy.

American baseball player & manager
Baseball People Self Sports

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself… and you are the easiest person to fool.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
People Science/Weather Self

Do not punish yourself, you deprive the world of its purpose.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Life Self

Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Self Time