Subject: Problems (Page 6)

This is a crisis, a large crisis. In fact… it’s a twelve-story crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeted throughout; twenty-four hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying ‘This is a Large Crisis.’

(1955 – ) English actor
Problems TV/Movie Quotes

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

Sex: The thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Problems Sex Time

Things are gradually falling into place on top of me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Problems Self

Discussion: A method of confirming others in their errors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Mistakes People

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man’s failures.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician
Failure Problems Sports

It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is the same damn thing over and over.

(1892 – 1950) poet
Life Problems

There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Characteristics Problems

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Marriage Problems Sex World

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.


Accidents Cooking Food/Drink Problems

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States; ask any Indian.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
America Places Problems

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs – but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

Accidents Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

1. If it is green or it wiggles – it is Biology.
2. If it stinks – it is Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work – it is Physics.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Science/Weather

When you’ve made gravy under gunfire, you can do anything.

(1916 – 2000) English music hall performer, comedian & actor
Problems TV/Movie Quotes

Whenever a superstar is traded to your favorite team, he fades. Whenever your team trades away a useless no-name, he immediately rises to stardom.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Sports Success

However much a shower control may rotate, the degree of rotation required to change from ice-cold to scalding is never more than one millimeter.

(1957 – ) New Zealand writer
Murphy’s Laws Problems

Don't ever make the same mistake twice, unless it pays.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Mistakes Problems

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

To err is human… and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Computers Failure Mistakes Things