Subject: Science/Weather

It was so cold… my shadow froze to the sidewalk.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

If man evolved from monkeys and apes… why do we still have monkeys and apes?

(1965 – ) American comedian
Animals Science/Weather

Rare is the “improvement” that will ever repay the time lost in performing it.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started down the road of professional basketball before an ankle injury diverted him to science.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
People Science/Weather

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Science/Weather Situations

Plenty of people believe in energy conservation – mainly their own.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Science/Weather

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.

(1955 – ) magician & showman
Science/Weather

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

Any man that has never seen a baby emerge from another person’s body will walk around for months just going, ‘Oh my God; what else don’t I know about Planet Earth?’

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Children Family Science/Weather

Cancun Temps Plunge to 100-Year Record Low During ‘Global Warming’ Summit!

Headlines Science/Weather

Space isn’t remote at all; it’s only an hours drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Science/Weather

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Canada Hockey Places Science/Weather Sports

And tonight norther areas can expect incest and rain – I’m sorry, incessant rain.

Misspokements Science/Weather

Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

It is so hot… the trees are whistling for the dogs.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

How does Teflon stick to the pan?

Science/Weather

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Appearance Body Insults Science/Weather

Technology: The knack of so arranging the world that we need not experience it.

(1911 – 1991) Swiss playwright & novelist
Definitions Science/Weather