Subject: Sex (Page 7)

I’m not saying she’s easy, but she’s been in so many motel rooms her nickname is ‘Gideon.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

One of my favorite oxymorons is engagement party.

writer, website creator

I can still enjoy sex at 74; I live at 75, so it's no distance.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer

I’m going down so often these days you’d think I was making a blue movie.

English boxer

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer

Sex doesn’t have to be taught; it’s something most of us are born with.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign

Familiarity breeds contempt; but familiarity breeds!

Don't cook… don’t clean; no man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Edible underwear?… even during sex, we can't stop eating.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality

I’m a strict Catholic; this year I gave up abstinence for Lent.

English writer & comedian

And most men seem to think ‘mutual orgasm’ is an insurance company.

(1958 – ) Australian author

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

American comedian

They made love as though they were an endangered species.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher – they are going to make a board game out of it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I like my sex the way I play basketball, one-on-one with as little dribbling as possible.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor

Looks like your new sweetie’s turned his back on homosexuals. And not in a good way.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer