Subject: Situations (Page 3)

We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.

(1913 – 1973) American animator & cartoonist (Pogo)
Characteristics Situations

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on; I’m going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Situations Sleep

I don't know if this is a matter for the costume department or the hairdresser.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Entertainment Film Situations

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Situations

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Situations TV/Movie Quotes

Some people think I’m high on stage; I would never get high before a show, because, when I’m high, I don’t wanna stand in front of a bunch of people I don’t know.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs Situations

I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection… she pulled a switchblade on me.

writer, website creator
Dating Sex Situations

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Situations Things

I was only saying to the Queen the other day how I hate name-dropping.

(1911 – 2000) American actor
Situations

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Age Old People Situations

That’s where Jack and I were different, he would let his hair down, I just took mine off.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Appearance Hair People Situations

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" and I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Mistakes Situations Sleep

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house; I never slept alone until after I was married.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Marriage Situations Sleep

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Animals Books Communication Dogs Intelligence Reading/Writing Relationships Situations

Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
Situations

I was driving on the freeway and I saw a hitchhiker holding a sign that said ’heaven,’ so I hit him; he seemed like a nice guy, so he probably made it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations

Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Life Situations Sleep

I was at the breakfast table this morning and I read in the newspaper that more and more adults are living at home with their parents; that surprised me, I was like “Mom did you read this?”

(1957 – ) American comedian
Family Situations

I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep

Upgraded: Didn't work the first time.

Definitions Situations

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations