Subject: Situations (Page 50)

Nobody talks more of free enterprise and competition and of the best man winning than the man who inherited his father’s store or farm.

(1916 – 1962) American sociologist & professor
Situations

The geek shall inherit the earth.

Proverbs Situations

If you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory, like you've beat the night, but, if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Age Old Situations Young

People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"

(1956 – ) American comedian
Situations

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house; I never slept alone until after I was married.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Marriage Situations Sleep

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Situations Sports

For every set of horseshoes human beings use for luck, somewhere in this world there’s a barefoot horse.

(1924 – 1973) American comic
Situations

Have you ever worn a different deodorant and for the rest of the day you feel like there is a stranger standing next to you.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Situations

The best way to keep a man is in doubt.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
People Situations

I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection… she pulled a switchblade on me.

writer, website creator
Dating Sex Situations

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three – and paradise is when you have none.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Life Money Situations

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

Places Situations World

No matter… the dead bird does not leave the nest.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Appearance Clothing Situations

The new hardware will break down as soon as the old is disconnected and out.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations Things

Order is an exotic in Ireland; it has been imported from England but it will not grow. It suits neither soil nor climate.

(1818 – 1894) English historian, novelist, biographer & editor
Places Situations

Never needlessly disturb a thing at rest.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Things

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Situations

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50–50 it will.

Situations

When you are down and out something always turns up – and it is usually the noses of your friends.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director
Friends People Situations Young

If you are going through hell… keep going.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Situations

I bought a portable cable TV.

comedian
Situations Television Things