Subject: Time (Page 21)

Why women don’t blink during foreplay… not enough time.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
People Sex Time Women

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Time

It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Activities Time

He is accelerating all the time; the last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports Time

Everything happens at the same time with nothing in between.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 a.m… it could be the right number.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Communication Time

The concept of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

(1890 – 1971) English humorist, novelist & playwright
Marriage Time

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
History Past Time

When I was at school I was great at history… oh wait, no I wasn't.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Education History Learning Time

The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.

American baseball player
Baseball Science/Weather Sports Time

You always think another time would have been ideal for you; the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
History Past Time

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

Life Murphy’s Laws Time

It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.

Murphy’s Laws Time

I just don’t want you to do nothing on the sperm of the moment.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Time

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been before.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Food/Drink Future Money Time

New Year's Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions; next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Situations Time

Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.

Definitions Marriage Time

Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Time Work