Subject: Work (Page 14)

Executive: An under-worked, over-paid person who is in over their head.

Definitions Occupations

When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results.

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Misspokements Work

The first mistake in public business is going into it.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Work

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

Success means only doing what you do well, letting someone else do the rest.

Murphy’s Laws Success Work

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Sleep Work

I got a new job stitching shoes; it was so-so.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Occupations Work

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money.

Marriage Money Wives Work

Never mistake motion for action.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Situations Work

I was in a restaurant that had a sign that said 'Restrooms For Customers Only'… I thought, it must suck to work there.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink Situations Work

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Education School Work

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Work

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Men Money Work

Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Occupations Work

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Murphy’s Laws People Work

When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.

Matt Thompson (1965 – ) American comedian
Emotions Laughter Occupations Work

Farming looks easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from a cornfield.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Work

Days off.

(1900 – 1967) American film actor
Acting Entertainment Film Work

Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Success Work