Subject: Work (Page 14)

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

Time Work

If I’m making millions to put a ball through a hoop, you can’t ever piss me off.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Money Occupations Sports Work

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports Work

Realtor: A man with lots to sell.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers Society of, The?

(1929 – 2009) British novelist, newspaper columnist & television writer
Occupations Wordplay Work

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Sleep Work

I yield to no one in my admiration for the office as a social center, but it’s no place actually to get any work done.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Activities Work

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

People are always available for work in the past tense.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Telemarketer: A minimum waged person who calls a bunch of people on a list to sell them something that they probably don’t need, and gets hung up on because the person being called usually has a mouth full of food.

Definitions Occupations

Accountant: One who uses your books to figure his profit.

Definitions Occupations

I was a trapeze artist…. but I was let go.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Problems Work

It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.

Murphy’s Laws Work

The more a recruit knows about a given subject, the better chance he has of being assigned to something else.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Never take a reference from a clergyman; they always want to give someone a second chance.

People Work

Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

I never lost my job while I was leading a race.

American auto racer
Auto racing Situations Sports Work

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are always funny.

Work