Subject: Work (Page 14)

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English? It means 'liar.'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Occupations Science/Weather Work

If you volunteer to do a task that nobody likes to do, you'll be expected to do it every time in the future.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Work

The longer the title, the less important the job.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Critic: One quick-on-the-flaw.

Definitions Occupations

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Communication Marriage Occupations Reading/Writing

I don’t want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Life Work

Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.

Definitions Doctors Occupations

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Definitions Occupations

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

Time Work

I don’t think I got the job at Microsoft™… they didn’t respond to my telegram.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Work

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Work

This isn’t exactly a stable business; it’s like trying to stand up in a canoe with your pants down.

(1925 – 2011) American actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

Employment Agency: Where people are put in their place.

Definitions Work

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Death Work

Incompetence tends to increase with the level of work performed. And naturally the individual’s staff needs will increase as his level of incompetence increases.

Murphy’s Laws Work

I think that’s what they call professional courtesy.

(1897 – 1953) American writer & producer
Occupations

A high paying rush job comes in only after you've committed to a low paying rush job.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

Second-rate people hire third-rate people.

Murphy’s Laws People Work