Subject: Work (Page 22)

Seven months ago I could give a single command and 541,000 people would immediately obey it; today I can’t get a plumber to come to my house.

(1934 – 2012) United States Army general
Occupations Success Work

Everybodyworks for the sales department

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
Occupations Work

The two most important jobs in America are held by foreigners – room service and goal-kicking.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Occupations People Sports Work

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

Clergyman: A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.

Definitions Occupations

I have an idea for sweatshops: air conditioning! That's simple.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Work

You go to a psychiatrist when you’re slightly cracked and keep going until you’re completely broke.

Occupations Work

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Work

In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist , or is a therapist going to a therapist.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Occupations People Places Work

Those who rise to executive positions lack the qualifications for anything lower.

Murphy’s Laws Work

If you think you can, you’re right; and if you think you can’t, you’re right.

(1918 – 2001) American businesswoman & founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics
Success Work

Judge: Mr. Smith, have you ever heard of a saying by Bacon – the great Bacon – that youth and discretion are ill-wed companions?

Smith: Indeed I have, your Honour; and has your Honour ever heard of a saying by Bacon – the great Bacon – that a much talking Judge is like an ill-tuned cymbal?

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Insults Occupations Work

There may be said to be three sorts of lawyers, able, unable, and lamentable.

(1805 – 1864) English editor, novelist & sporting writer
Lawyers Occupations Work

A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
Situations Work

Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

The three toughest jobs in the world are: President of the United States, mayor of New York, and head football coach at Notre Dame.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Government Occupations Work

If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, someone will say it's women's work.

Money People Women Work

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People Work

Automation has opened up a whole new field of unemployment.

Situations Work

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Time Work