Author: Anonymous Page 135

Ambition: Goaled rush.

Definitions

Knitting: An exercise that gives women something to do when they are talking.

Activities Definitions

Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

The early worm is being picked first.

Mixed metaphors

Justice: A decision in your favor.

Definitions

Exhaustion: Sufficient cause for the hospitalization of a celebrity – the normal state of existence for the rest of the working world.

Definitions

Your being Sir Anthony's son, would itself be a sufficient accommodation.

Malaprops

As Bob is my witless

Malaprops

Father: A guy who is working his child’s way through college.

Definitions Family Fathers

Surfing the Infobahn [information superhighway]

Mixed metaphors

[a rock group’s] authenticity strikes a chord with fans.

Mixed metaphors

He came out of it smelling like a bandit.

Mixed metaphors

He's the pineapple of politeness.

Malaprops

“I have to wear this cast for another six weeks,” said Tom disjointedly.

Tom Swifties

He could wear a top hat and walk under a snake’s belly.

Expressions

A rolling stone is worth two in the bush.

Mixed metaphors

Walking with your head between your legs.

Mixed metaphors

“I lost my trousers,” said Tom expansively.

Tom Swifties

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

“No, I haven’t read Voltaire,” said Tom candidly.

Tom Swifties

… prostate with grief

Malaprops